I let go of things I thought I never could

This is something I’ve never publicly spoken up about.

Today marks two years of me being a vegetarian and 1.5 years of being a vegan.

About two years ago, I had a horrible wake-up call. Those who are closest to me know the entire story. I was in an emotionally manipulative relationship with a narcissistic sociopath (he was diagnosed at the end of it) who managed to deceive me, my parents, and my friends through and through and ended up cheating on me and raping a girl who didn’t even know I existed. She said no to him three times. He didn’t listen. But thank god, everything came to light and, before I could marry him, his true face was revealed.

I thank my good luck every day that I’m not with that monster any more. It was not easy to let go of the smoothest relationship I had had. I had loved him with all my being. But it was all a lie. The damage was already done.

I took a month sabbatical and straightened my emotional affairs, thanks a bunch to my parents and understanding workplace. It was a horrible, horrible period.

But I kept (and still keep) asking myself one question: why should I bear the brunt of someone else’s mistakes?

I decided to adopt Arya, my first kitten. He opened me up to an entirely new world of animal hood and empathy. Cue more cats. 😃. That’s how they trick you. You can never stop with only one. They are so dang cute. But I digress.

I used to be a chronic meat eater and dairy consumer. But something shifted in me after I adopted my fur babies. I actively sought out information on factory farming and educated myself on the outdated, unsanitary, and unethical but absolutely legal practices of torturing and raping animals on scale for the benefit of humans.

It was difficult. First, I accepted my part in the ignorance of meat and dairy manufacturing. Then, I cut down mercilessly on meat. Fuck, how I craved meat! Dairy products were the last to go. I still crave them. Cheese. Milk. Ghee. Meat. No point denying it. Temptations are overwhelming.

However, your will power is something you can understate and undermine only on purpose. I kept letting go. I keep living with these cravings. Some days, it’s easy to manage. Some days, you almost give in.

But that’s the catch. Almost. That’s the key.

As long as you know what you want and you can keep up despite cravings, temptations, doubts, what other people tell you, you know you are winning in life.

This post is not to convert you to veganism or to virtue signal. I just wanted to share my experiences on the anniversary of my important decision to let go of things I thought I could never.

Everyone has a story, and no one has it easy. Baby steps. You are fine. You will figure it out, whatever it is. Baby steps.